Self Awareness – RDF



Resting Dick Face

“Damn Matt, you got a bad case of RDF.”

I consider myself to be pretty self aware and if you’ve read some of my previous blogs, then you already know that I hold one’s self-awareness in highest regard.  After all, how and you conceive to truly know another person unless you truly know yourself.

People are always asking me if I’m Okay, or if something is wrong.  It’s been happening since I can remember, so it really does go unnoticed most of the time and my responses are typically routine and second nature.

I guess it’s safe to say that my RDF get’s in the way at times.  I’ve often been told that I’m unapproachable and intimidating when people meet me for the first time.  In most case people are taken back a bit when the realize I am literally the exact opposite of their initial impression.  I suppose I’ll have to resign to being a little mysterious.  I does help to filter out some of the trash.

…to be continued

Say Goodbye, Don’t Follow


Anyone who really knows me, is well aware of how neurotic I am when it comes to music and particular songs.  It still blows my mind how a simple tune or lyric can snap me right back to a place in my past which can often take the wind completely out of my sail.  This specific song hit me pretty hard in the feels this morning.  The time was 15-20 years ago, and is very reminiscent of an individual whom I’ve since fallen out with, but still miss from time to time.  Hearing this song on the stream this morning didn’t help things much and while most people will remain oblivious to the reference, the person on the other end of the feels would likely react with a lot of the very same emotions about it.  At least I like to think so.   Though, the reality of the situation is glaring.

Hey, I ain’t never coming home
Hey, I’ll just wander my own road
Hey, I can’t meet you here tomorrow
No, say goodbye don’t follow
Misery so hollow

Hey you, you’re livin’ life full throttle
Hey you, pass me down that bottle, yeah
Hey you, you can’t shake me round now
I get so lost and don’t know how
And it hurts to care, so I’m goin’ now

Forgot my woman, lost my friends
Things I’d done and where I’ve been
Sleep in sweat the mirrors cold
See my face it’s growin’ old
Scared to death no reason why
Do whatever to get me by
Think about the things I’ve said
Read the page it’s cold and dead

Take me home
Yeah, take me home
Take me home
Take me home, yeah
Take me home

Say goodbye, don’t follow


Trust can be broken and betrayed but the love never goes away and the memories remains.


…it hurts to care, so I’m goin’ now…